Ambivalence has been defined as wanting two different and opposing things at the same time, and therefore is a state of inner conflict… For example, you may want to be kind and loving toward someone who has hurt you, but you may also harbor resentment or even want revenge; or you may want to abstain from a forbidden pleasure, yet you find yourself inwardly hungering for it anyway. When we feel pulled in two different directions or have mixed feelings, we are being called near to God to find help.

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Note that the word se’afeem (סֵעֲפִים) is translated as παρανόμους (paranomous) in the LXX, literally, “one who reasons around the Torah,” that is, a lawless person quick to excuse himself from the demands and truth of God’s moral will and authority… Some translations render this word as “frivolous-minded,” “light-minded,” or “vain,” though the Hebrew word comes from a root (סעף) that means to split or to divide, fork-like, like branches of trees waved with the wind to and fro (compare James 1:8-9; 4:8; 1 Kings 18:21).

The contrast is between ambivalence, or being “two-soulled” (δίψυχος), and the desire for the truth of God’s Torah that unifies the soul. To be undivided, wholehearted, pure of heart, and so on, means to abhor all fantasies of imagination or thought that lead us away from the Divine Presence. “Take every thought captive” (2 Cor. 10:5). We must always be on guard lest we be seduced from our heart’s focus and direction (Heb. 4:1).

Consider temptation to be a “rabbit hole” that leads to discovery about what you really need. Take your temptation to the LORD and ask Him to fill the void, to strengthen your heart, to heal the inner divide, and so on. God already knows what’s happening within your adulterous heart, so come before Him in prayer to find healing and help in your temptation (Heb 4:16). If we ask anything according to God’s will, he hears us and will help us (1 John 5:14). Often we experience ambivalence and temptation because we do not know what we really need or even want. “Disordered loves” arise when we set the heart’s affections on the transitory, the ephemeral, and the unabiding — rather than on the Eternal.

Where it is written, “cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you” (1 Pet. 5:7), the word translated “anxiety” (μέριμνα) comes from a Greek verb (μερίζω) that means to be fragmented or divided into parts and pieces. We bring our brokenness to God – including those distractions that tear us away from Him and that make us inwardly fragmented – in order to receive God’s care for us. Today choose to regard your brokenness as an invitation to come before God for healing; never let it be a source of shame that keeps you from coming to the LORD for help! We are not to be ignorant of Satan and his devices… Despite our many sins, frailties, and our own inner ambivalence, we know that God alone is our healer, our deliverer, and the lover of our souls. The Lord is near to those who call upon Him in the truth.

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The goal of the devil, the “prince of the power of the air,” has always been to enslave people in dark places of fear, anger, bitterness, and pain. His primary weapon is deception, that is, various lies by which he captivates people and makes them tools for his evil purposes. We are able to resist the power of the lie by submitting to the truth about Reality (James 4:7). God’s Name YHVH (יהוה) means “Presence” and “Love,” and there is no power in heaven or earth that can overrule His hand. Therefore even if the prophesied “End of Days” were to begin this very hour, our responsibility is to focus on the Divine Presence and to walk in His truth and love. As King David said, “I have set the LORD always before me; because He is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken” (Psalm 16:8).

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It’s an old custom to read (or to sing) the Book of Psalms during the month of Elul. In the famous Song of Moses, it is written: וַיּאמְרוּ לֵאמר אָשִׁירָה לַיהוָה / “and they spoke, saying: ‘I will sing to the LORD’ (Exod. 15:1). This phrase can be formed into an acronym for Elul (אלול), and the sages therefore reasoned that hearing the Psalms were vital during the Season of Repentance and Days of Favor.

Of all the great Psalms, however, Psalm 27 is considered the central one of the season of teshuvah. The midrash on the Psalms states that the word ori (אוֹרִי), “my light,” refers to Rosh Hashanah (based on Psalm 37:6) whereas the word yishi (יִשְׁעִי), “my salvation” (lit. “my Jesus”) refers to the atonement given on Yom Kippur. King David also mentions that God would hide him in his sukkah (בְּסֻכּה) in the time of trouble, referring to the holiday of Sukkot (Psalm 27:5). Therefore since it alludes to all three of the fall holidays, Psalm 27 is regarded as the thematic Psalm for the High Holidays of the Jewish year.

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There is the great danger of squandering and dissipating our lives… Examine yourself; consider what really moves you. Be careful not to deceive yourself by “reasoning around the truth” (i.e., παρα + λογίζομαι), as James the Righteous puts it (James 1:22). Many people fool themselves by assuming they know or understand what is good, but they confine this ideal to a matter of opinion rather than experiencing it as a matter of the will…

According to philosopher Hannah Arendt, the lack of moral thought and reflection creates the “banality of evil,” that is, the unthinking acceptance of evil so that it is no longer regarded as outrageous or strange. People deaden their conscience by refusing to honestly engage questions such as: “What is goodness?” “Is evil real?” “Do we have an obligation to observe moral truth?” “What is the good life?” “How should we live?” “Do our actions really matter?” “Will God judge my life?” and so on. On the other hand, our culture has been so shocked by the ongoing practice of lawlessness and wickedness that people have lost their sense of shame. We are no longer shocked and outraged when we hear of the latest crimes or abuses of power in our postmodern world…. We must be careful, however, not to become evil by despising what is evil. For instance, we may feel so outraged and threatened by the evil actions of others that we deny their humanity, thereby becoming the very thing we hate.

The spiritual danger here is being “pulled apart” in opposite directions, dissipating the soul so that it will not be unified, focused and directed. Both loving and hating the good is a state of painful inner conflict, ambivalence, and self-contradiction. “Who can bring a clean thing out of an unclean? there is not one” (Job 14:4), yet this is our starting point: “I find it to be a law that when I want to do right, evil lies close at hand” (Rom. 7:21). We are often willing and unwilling, or neither willing nor unwilling, and this makes us inwardly divided, weak, fragmented, anxious, and “soulless.” An honest faith that “wills one thing” binds the soul into a unity, or an authentic “self.” As King David said, “One thing have I asked of the LORD, that will I seek after: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to inquire in his temple” (Psalm 27:4).

The way to be healed of a divided heart is to earnestly make a decision: “Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you” (James 4:8). There are no conditions given here — other than your raw need to connect with God for help. “Purify your hearts, you double-minded ones” (δίψυχοι, lit. “two-souled ones”); make up your mind and be unified within your heart: “How long will you go limping between two different opinions?” (1 Kings 18:21). You are invited to come; God has made the way; your place at the table has been set and prepared.

God responds to those who sincerely cry out to him (Psalm 145:18). He is “near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit” (Psalm 34:18). Indeed, salvation is as close as your own mouth and heart (Rom. 10:8-13). But how many are the days of your life? How many opportunities for you to make up your mind? How long will you go “limping” between two opinions? Therefore choose this day whom you will serve. Make the first step; open your heart, and the LORD will then help you make the wholehearted decision to “seek the LORD while He may be found; call upon Him while He is near.” Amen.

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Repentance means that we believe that the kindness of God can give life to our dead hearts. Repentance is therefore first of all a matter of faith, of believing in the miracle of God. And though it is a great gift from heaven, repentance requires honesty and acknowledgment of the truth. We must confess our inner poverty, our neediness, and mourn over the loss and hurt caused by our sin (Matt. 5:3-5). Repentance turns away from our attempts to defend or justify ourselves and instead turns to God to heal our separation from Him (Rom. 8:3-4). This turning of the heart to God for healing and life is the essence of teshuvah wherein our old nature is buried and all things are made new (2 Cor. 5:17).

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It is no small thing to believe the message of Yeshua, and indeed, it involves a passionate inwardness that scandalizes the rational mind. Our father Abraham is extolled as the model of righteous faith, but he was tested to sacrifice the moral law (e.g., “thou shalt not murder”) when he lifted up the knife to slay his beloved son Isaac. Faith requires you to change your everyday thinking, to go beyond natural expectations, to “walk on water.” In the case of Yeshua, we are confronted with the “Absolute Paradox,” namely, the God-Man, the Infinite-made-Finite, the Holy-made-Profane, the Sinless-made-Sin, who says to you: “I AM the resurrection and the life. Whoever believes in me, though he die, yet shall he live, and everyone who lives and believes in me shall never die. Do you believe this?” (John 11:25-26). You will never die; you will never hunger; you are made whole through my brokenness; you will be cleansed by my defilement, and so on. It’s not just hard to believe, it’s impossible, which is why it is a miracle of God to be saved (Matt. 19:26). “It is the Spirit that gives life; the flesh is no help at all” (John 6:33). The difference is Yeshua: Salvation is of the LORD. We are enabled to love and know God by means of his inner life and spirit, not by means of good intentions or religious zeal. Faith itself is a miracle, the power of God….

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Philosopher Soren Kierkegaard once said that life must be lived forward, but it can only be understood backward, and consequently the present hour provides the only real opportunity you have to examine the present state of your soul… Therefore “repent one day before you die,” and that day is today, since no one knows the day or the hour of his death. The midrash notes that the word Elul (אֶלוּל), when read backward, spells lulei (לוּלֵא), meaning “if not” or “were it not for…”, which suggests that the last month of the Jewish year serves as a season to examine ourselves, to confess our sins, and to resolve to more completely turn toward the Divine Presence before the new year… Indeed the gematria (i.e., letter value) of the name Elul (1+30+6+30) is the same as the Hebrew word binah (בִּינָה), “understanding,” or the ability to discern between (בֵּין) truth and error. During this season of teshuvah, then, we ask the Lord to impart to us greater understanding about how to “live forward” by returning to him “bekhol levavkha,” with all our hearts…

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For more information, see the Elul pages on the Hebrew for Christians website.

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Those who evade the truth about reality – those who willingly suppress the truth and choose to ignore the ultimate existential pathos of the human condition – must “steal” meaning and a sense of value from the heart of faith. “If a human being did not have an eternal consciousness, if underlying everything there was only a wild, fermenting power that writhing in dark passions produced everything, be it significant or insignificant, if a vast, never appeased emptiness hid beneath everything, what would life be but despair?” (Kierkegaard: Fear and Trembling). The hidden source of anxiety is to be lost to real meaning – to sense the dread of the inevitable and the unknown and to be utterly confounded and devoid of direction in the face of it. The Torah of Yeshua is heeded by the “impoverished of spirit” who know they must “find God or die.” It is first a word spoken to the shattered of heart and crushed of spirit. As Augustine said, “You have made us for yourself, O Lord, and our hearts are restless until they rest in you.” We all desperately need God, and it is a profound tragedy to be unresponsive to real hope. Friend, if you sense the invitation of the Spirit, which moves unseen as the wind, then draw near while there is still time! “Seek the LORD while he may be found; call upon him while he is near” (Isa. 55:6).

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The advent of the “Season of Teshuvah” reminds us that we all fail, that we all are broken people, and that errors and mistakes are part of our daily spiritual life… We journey toward humility rather than struggle for perfection; we confess our need for forgiveness and seek reconciliation with all those we might have harmed… During this season it is common enough to hear messages about our need to turn and draw near to God for life, but it is equally important to remember that God turns and draws near to the brokenhearted for consolation. As it is said, the Lord is near to the nishbar lev (נִשְׁבָּר לֵב), the one with a broken and crushed heart (Psalm 51:17).

Read more “Teshuvah and Brokenness…”

The Bible begins and ends with the great Tree of Life — first in the orchard of Eden, and later in the midst of the paradise of heaven. ‎”The Tree of Life (i.e., etz ha’ chayim: עֵץ הַחַיִּים) was in the midst of the garden…” (Gen. 2:9); “Then the angel showed me the river of the water of life, bright as crystal, flowing from the throne of God and of the Lamb through the middle of the street of the city; also, on either side of the river, the Tree of Life (etz ha-chayim) with its twelve kinds of fruit, yielding its fruit each month” (Rev. 22:1-2). Notice that the “twelve fruits” (καρποὺς δώδεκα) from the Tree of Life are directly linked to the “twelve months” of the Jewish year (κατὰ μῆνα ἕκαστον ἀποδιδοῦν τὸν καρπὸν αὐτοῦ: “each month rendering its fruit”). Twelve months; twelve fruits…. This teaches us that the sequence of the holidays (mo’edim) was intended to teach us revelation about God. That is why God created the Sun and the Moon for signs and for “appointed times” (Gen. 1:14), as it also says: “He made the moon to mark the appointed times (לְמוֹעֲדִים); the sun knows its time for setting” (Psalm 104:19).

Read more “The Great Tree of Life…”

We are responsible to walk in truth and to reject what is false (1 John 4:6). This implies that we have a moral and spiritual duty to think clearly and not to abuse our minds (Phil. 4:8; Rom. 12:2). The LORD our God will help us to do this, as Yeshua said: “I will ask the Father, and he will give you a Helper (παράκλητος, someone “called to one’s side”), to be with you forever, even the Spirit of Truth (רוּחַ הָאֱמֶת), whom the world cannot receive, because it neither sees him nor knows him” (John 14:16-17). The Spirit of Truth helps us “discern what is the will of God, what is good, acceptable, and perfect” (Rom. 12:2) and empowers us to take “every thought captive” to the reality of the Divine Presence (2 Cor. 10:4-5). Truth is connected to memory – both in our personal histories as well as the history of God’s redemptive actions performed on our behalf. Hence we are constantly commanded to remember what God has done for us and to “diligently repeat” the truth to our children (Deut. 6:4-9). Similarly, the Spirit of Truth brings to remembrance the words of Yeshua to our hearts (John 14:26).

Read more “Teshuvah of the Mind…”