Ambivalence has been defined as wanting two different and opposing things at the same time, and therefore is a state of inner conflict… For example, you may want to be kind and loving toward someone who has hurt you, but you may also harbor resentment or even want revenge; or you may want to abstain from a forbidden pleasure, yet you find yourself inwardly hungering for it anyway. When we feel pulled in two different directions or have mixed feelings, we are being called near to God to find help.
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Note that the word se’afeem (סֵעֲפִים) is translated as παρανόμους (paranomous) in the LXX, literally, “one who reasons around the Torah,” that is, a lawless person quick to excuse himself from the demands and truth of God’s moral will and authority… Some translations render this word as “frivolous-minded,” “light-minded,” or “vain,” though the Hebrew word comes from a root (סעף) that means to split or to divide, fork-like, like branches of trees waved with the wind to and fro (compare James 1:8-9; 4:8; 1 Kings 18:21).
The contrast is between ambivalence, or being “two-soulled” (δίψυχος), and the desire for the truth of God’s Torah that unifies the soul. To be undivided, wholehearted, pure of heart, and so on, means to abhor all fantasies of imagination or thought that lead us away from the Divine Presence. “Take every thought captive” (2 Cor. 10:5). We must always be on guard lest we be seduced from our heart’s focus and direction (Heb. 4:1).
Consider temptation to be a “rabbit hole” that leads to discovery about what you really need. Take your temptation to the LORD and ask Him to fill the void, to strengthen your heart, to heal the inner divide, and so on. God already knows what’s happening within your adulterous heart, so come before Him in prayer to find healing and help in your temptation (Heb 4:16). If we ask anything according to God’s will, he hears us and will help us (1 John 5:14). Often we experience ambivalence and temptation because we do not know what we really need or even want. “Disordered loves” arise when we set the heart’s affections on the transitory, the ephemeral, and the unabiding — rather than on the Eternal.
Where it is written, “cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you” (1 Pet. 5:7), the word translated “anxiety” (μέριμνα) comes from a Greek verb (μερίζω) that means to be fragmented or divided into parts and pieces. We bring our brokenness to God – including those distractions that tear us away from Him and that make us inwardly fragmented – in order to receive God’s care for us. Today choose to regard your brokenness as an invitation to come before God for healing; never let it be a source of shame that keeps you from coming to the LORD for help! We are not to be ignorant of Satan and his devices… Despite our many sins, frailties, and our own inner ambivalence, we know that God alone is our healer, our deliverer, and the lover of our souls. The Lord is near to those who call upon Him in the truth.
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