The Haftarah for parashat Toldot begins: “I have loved you,” says the LORD. But you say, “How have you loved us?” “Is not Esau Jacob’s brother?” declares the LORD. “Yet I have loved Jacob but Esau I have hated. I have laid waste his hill country and left his heritage to jackals of the desert” (Mal. 1:1-3; cp. Rom. 9:9-13). Some people may find God’s sovereign choice objectionable, though we know there is no unrighteousness in God’s decrees and ways (Deut. 32:4; Psalm 18:30; James 1:17, etc.). Therefore Yeshua told his followers, “You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go forth and bear fruit…” (John 15:16). Religious pride recoils at these words, thinking, “I don’t want to be chosen by God; I want to be in control; I want to choose God first.” The ego seeks some reason for revelation, some merit that commends the self to God. It’s hidden assumption is, “thank you, God, that I am not like other men” (Luke 18:11). The choice of God is scandalous because it is based on God’s love, not our own (1 John 4:19). We were spiritually reborn, not as the result of anything in the realm of nature, nor even through our personal decision, but solely on account of God’s sovereign prerogative (John 1:13). This is the message of the choice of Jacob over Esau in our Torah portion this week. Regarding this the New Testament comments: “Though they (i.e., Jacob and Esau) were not yet born and had done nothing either good or bad — in order that God’s purpose of election might stand (ἵνα ἡ κατ᾽ ἐκλογὴν πρόθεσις τοῦ θεοῦ μένῃ), not because of works but because of the One who calls, Rebekah was told, “the older will serve the younger” (Rom. 9:11-12). The carnal ego is quick to look for reasons that God chooses people, looking for merit or considering their worldly potential, though it is idolatrous to elevate the self this way. “Not by might nor by power, but by my spirit, says the LORD of Hosts” (Zech. 4:6). We don’t seek to please God so that we can be chosen; we are chosen so that we can seek to please him… God’s grace and love for us is always the starting point: “Lord, teach us to pray,” that is, choose words for us, the groaning of your Spirit, in accordance with your perfect will…
When we think of Jacob as a young man, we tend to recall the dramatic episode when he surreptitiously disguised himself as Esau to “steal” the blessing from his father Isaac. As we study our Torah reading, however, we learn that Jacob actually received 
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“Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. I have not come to call the righteous but sinners to repentance” (Luke 5:31-32). Every one of us has a “dark side” or a “shadow self” that has destructive and selfish urges. We try to conceal this truth from others (and even ourselves) but such denial doesn’t change the reality within our hearts (Matt. 5:19; Jer. 17:9; Eccl. 9:3). Indeed, when we pretend to be something we are not we are more likely to be overwhelmed by dark forces hidden within us. Paradoxically we most vulnerable when we think we are well, that is, when we deny our sickness our heart and minimize our need for deliverance.
Some of us seem far more concerned with how others see than how God sees us… We strive to manage a public image crafted for others but lose the substance of what is real. Trying to control how we are seen by others is exhausting, however, since it implies that we must find our value in their (conditional) approval rather than from a deeper source. The emotional need for approval is a form of cruel bondage: We take ourselves too seriously, we deny who we really are, and we believe we are never good enough. Over time we become anxious and easily offended people… “Am I now trying to gain the approval of people, or of God?” (Gal. 1:10).
“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9). Not just this or that particular sin, mind you, but the whole constellation of attitudes, assumptions, and wayward thinking that brought us into exile in the first place. The word confession (ὁμολογία) means bringing yourself naked before the Divine Light to agree with the truth about who you are. Indeed, the verb homologeo (ὁμολογέω) means “saying the same thing” – from ὁμός (same) and λόγος (word). In biblical Hebrew teshuvah (תְשׁוּבָה) means turning back to God by turning away from what makes you lost in unreality and painful exile. God’s love for us is the question, and our teshuvah – our turning of the heart toward Him – is the answer. Teshuvah is one of the great gifts God gives each of us – the ability to turn back to Him and seek healing for our brokenness.
Our Lord said: “Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness…” (Matt. 5:6). Yes, blessed are those who suffer such desperate need, who know inner emptiness, who are not made numb to the ache, and who cry from the heart for deliverance. Blessed are those who are in dread over themselves, who fall as one dead before the Divine Presence, who know they are undone, ruined, and dying for life… The great danger, spiritually speaking, is to become complacent, untouched by poverty of heart, to be lulled asleep, lost within a dream, made comatose, living-yet-dead. The gift of faith first reveals our own lostness and then imparts courage to live with ourselves despite ourselves as we seek God’s healing and life… Let us press on, dear friends.
In our Torah portion this week (
Regarding the contrast between “religion” and “spirituality,” Carl Jung once wrote: “One of the main functions of formalized religion is to protect people against a direct experience of God.” The use of rituals, ceremonial laws, customs, the establishment of a hierarchy of believers (i.e., professional clergy), and so on, devises a layer or buffer to avoid personal encounter with God… As Soren Kierkegaard (1813-1855) once said, “The most pernicious of all evasions is—hidden in the crowd, to want, as it were, to avoid God’s inspection of oneself as a single individual, avoid hearing God’s voice as a single individual, as Adam once did when his bad conscience fooled him into thinking that he could hide among the trees” (Upbuilding Discourses in Various Spirits). Likewise religious dogma (or theology) can create a belief system that encourages a sense of “us” against “them” that leads to the quintessential prayer fo the hypocrite: “God, I thank you that I am not like other men” (Luke 18:11). Again Kierkegaard insightfully notes that theologizing can serve to excuse people from the duty to live in genuine faith: “All this interpreting and interpreting and scholarly research and new scholarly research that is produced on the solemn and serious principle that it is in order to understand God’s Word properly — look more closely and you will see that it is in order to defend oneself against God’s Word. It is only all too easy to understand the requirement contained in God’s Word” (For Self-Examination).