Life isn’t easy, and even believers can get angry at God at times. For example, we may feel disappointed or resentful when bad things happen to us or to those whom we love, especially if we had prayed for God’s intervention and help regarding the matter. Seemingly unanswered prayer can make us feel lonely and afraid about what is happening to us. We may begin to second-guess our faith or wonder if God really listens to us. We must be careful and ask God for solace and wisdom lest we turn numb inside..

Many of us are unhappy and feel empty throughout the passing of our days.  Many waver in their faith, on the one hand affirming that they believe that God is faithful and good, while on the other hand wondering why God apparently left then when they needed him most. They reason that if God was not there for them in their most vulnerable moments, can he be trusted to be there for them in future times of trouble?

Some of us can talk a good talk about God and spirituality, but we fail to seriously practice the presence of God, we “forget” that the Lord is real, a “very present help in trouble,” and therefore we “collapse back” into the murmur of godless thinking… Ironically enough, many of us are proud and yet hypocritical people. We tend to avoid certain obvious sins but secretly harbor hidden ones like envy, spite, fear, anger, selfishness, lust, gluttony, greed, and a general lack of charity. In short, we don’t live up to our ideals or principles, and in our “fallenness” we discover — if we are honest — our great need for deliverance from ourselves. It is then that we discover that God has not abandoned us, but on the contrary, we have abandoned Him by turning to anger, hopelessness, despair, and bitterness. Honesty, however, is essential to healing, as Kierkegaard once said: “No person is saved except by grace; but there is one sin that makes grace impossible, and that is dishonesty; and there is one thing God must forever and unconditionally require, and that is honesty.”

We must give our secret pain to God, even if we don’t understand it, and even if it refuses to go away… Our hearts are often vexed; we are a mess of mixed motives; we are strong to be made weak, weak to be made strong. We bless and curse from the same mouth… And yet, despite all this, despite our inner contradictions, the dance between the “old man” and “new,” the divided house of our lives – our present sorrows, our troubles, our fears – we must endure ourselves, we must press on, and we must never let go of hope in God’s love. Never. Therefore we must not hide from God’s presence, nor pretend to be something we are not. We are invited to come boldly before the throne of God’s loving grace to receive help in our hour of need (Heb. 4:16).

“O Lord who alone makes us whole, ‘heal me, O LORD, and I shall be healed, save me, and I shall be saved, for your are my praise’ (Jer. 17:14). O LORD, forgive our sins and heal us of our wounds, or, at least help us to endure suffering with special grace to keep us from being distracted from the truth and glory of your love and Presence… Grant us strength to abide in your hope, until the very last day, and to keep watch for the ready hand of Your love… As we go from place to place, from this moment to the next, help us to behold the Sun of Righteousness that pervades our way. Amen.

 

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Jer. 17:14 Hebrew page (pdf)

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Our heavenly Father “sees in secret,” and that also means that he can and will save you from whatever is hidden within you that still resists his love and touch… We have to trust in God’s power to heal us, even when it seems that healing is not forthcoming, even when we still find ourselves divided, troubled, and anxious. We have to believe that God’s help is always present for us (Psalm 46:1).

God sees what He does within us, His secret “it-is-finished” work, the effect of His great salvation within our hearts, even if at this present hour this may be hidden from our eyes… There is appearance, and there is reality; and only God sees what is ultimately real. We have to trust in His promise to be transformed into the divine nature, even if today we find ourselves sinful, needy, and in disrepair… כּל־יְמֵי צְבָאִי אֲיַחֵל עַד־בּוֹא חֲלִיפָתִי – “All the days of my struggle I will keep hope until my change comes” (Job 14:14). So don’t give up, friends. We are saved by hope (ἐλπίδι ἐσώθημεν, Rom. 8:24), a hope for you today. Believe to see!

 

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Job 14:14b Hebrew page (pdf)

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I am suffering, friends…. feeling exhausted in prayers for healing. I feel alone with my sorrows and relentless pain; I am in darkness as I wonder why the Lord has allowed such afflictions to come upon me. My agony arises not from unbelief, for I am fully persuaded and entirely convinced that the Lord can simply “say the word” and I shall be healed, despite my worthless condition… Yet my vexations remain; they torment me in their persistence; I cry out for mercy yet there is no relief… “How long with you forget me, O LORD, forever?” With tears I cry out “Lord I believe; help thou my unbelief” (Mark 9:23-24). In a flash of distress I feel like I am on the border of death itself, as David cried out: “the snares of death encompass me; the pangs of Sheol laid hold on me; I suffer distress and anguish…”

It is written: “Blessed is the Lord, who daily bears our burden; He is the God of our salvation; selah” (Psalm 69:19). The word “selah” here means to pause or reflect (the ancient Greek uses διάψαλμα, meaning to “hold out the palm of the hand” for this word). Our burden includes the sorrows of loss and pain as well, as the passage continues: “Our God is the God of deliverance, and the LORD our Master provides escape from death” (Psalm 69:20). Yea, the LORD provides deliverance from death, even in the midst of our dying, and even when we die, as it says, “For none of us lives to himself, and none of us dies to himself. For if we live, we live to the Lord, and if we die, we die to the Lord. So then, whether we live or whether we die, we are the Lord’s. For to this end Messiah died and lived again, that he might be Lord both of the dead and of the living” (Rom. 14:7-9). Suffering and physical death are a part of our journey in this fallen world, though they do not have the final word about who we are and what ultimately becomes of us. May God grant us strength to endure our days. Amen.

Read more “Help Thou my Unbelief…”