I’ve mentioned before that the Hebrew word “mitzvah” (מִצְוָה) is often translated as “commandment,” though its basic idea is about our connection to God (i.e., the root צוה means to “bind” or “unite”). Being connected with the Almighty means making time to get alone to talk with him, relating to him as your Heavenly Father, and trusting that he genuinely esteems you as his beloved child. Whatever else you may think about the commandments of God, this idea of a love connection is foundational and essential. The very first of the Ten Commandments is Anochi Adonai Elohekha (אָנכִי יְהוָה אֱלהֶ֑יךָ), “I am the Lord your God,” which invites you to open your heart to receive the touch of the Spirit of God. There is no love like that of the Lord, but you simply can’t feel that love if you don’t speak to Him, pouring out your heart and clinging to the truth of his love for you….

Pouring your heart out to God in an honest, spontaneous, and intensely personal way is called “hitbodedut” (הִתְבּוֹדְּדוּת) in Hebrew. After we “talk our hearts out” before the Lord, in our emptiness we can begin to truly listen, as it says, “In returning and rest you shall be saved; in quietness and in trust shall be your strength” (Isa. 30:15). Only after we sigh deeply and surrender are we receptive to the voice of the Spirit’s whisper. אַשְׁרֵי כָּל־חוֹכֵי לוֹ – “Blessed are all those who wait for Him” (Isa. 30:18). We wait, we abide, we persevere — even when God seems to “take his time” or does not immediately intervene in ways we might apprehend. We do not lose heart, for we find strength when we trust in God’s love… The Light of the world still shines: Yeshua, be my inner word, my heart, and my groaning for life today, and forevermore, amen.

Since the essence of Torah is connection to God, the greatest blessing is to be filled with the desire to draw close to him, to experience “hunger and thirst” (i.e., visceral yearning) for God’s presence and touch. Holy desire – expressed in the yearning of heartfelt prayer – is therefore a state of true blessedness, and the more desperate our need for God the more blessed we are. It is our desire, our holy need that creates a bond of connection between our soul and its Creator, and that is the deeper meaning of “mitzvah.” As Yeshua said: “Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied” (Matt. 5:6).

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We are to pray to God with all our heart (מכל הלב), but that must include the broken heart, too – that is, the broken parts of ourselves that must be recollected and mended before the passion of God’s healing love. We “lift up our soul” to the LORD – all of ourselves – as we pour out our heart before God. Our feelings are important in prayer – the ingredient added to our petitions that quicken the heart and focus the will…. “Return, O Israel, to the LORD your God” (Hos. 14:2) means returning to the place of heartfelt faith – where the LORD is your God, and you are his beloved child.

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Ambivalence has been defined as wanting two different and opposing things at the same time, and therefore is a state of inner conflict… For example, you may want to be kind and loving toward someone who has hurt you, but you may also harbor resentment or even want revenge; or you may want to abstain from a forbidden pleasure, yet you find yourself inwardly hungering for it anyway. When we feel pulled in two different directions or have mixed feelings, we are being called near to God to find help.

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Note that the word se’afeem (סֵעֲפִים) is translated as παρανόμους (paranomous) in the LXX, literally, “one who reasons around the Torah,” that is, a lawless person quick to excuse himself from the demands and truth of God’s moral will and authority… Some translations render this word as “frivolous-minded,” “light-minded,” or “vain,” though the Hebrew word comes from a root (סעף) that means to split or to divide, fork-like, like branches of trees waved with the wind to and fro (compare James 1:8-9; 4:8; 1 Kings 18:21).

The contrast is between ambivalence, or being “two-soulled” (δίψυχος), and the desire for the truth of God’s Torah that unifies the soul. To be undivided, wholehearted, pure of heart, and so on, means to abhor all fantasies of imagination or thought that lead us away from the Divine Presence. “Take every thought captive” (2 Cor. 10:5). We must always be on guard lest we be seduced from our heart’s focus and direction (Heb. 4:1).

Consider temptation to be a “rabbit hole” that leads to discovery about what you really need. Take your temptation to the LORD and ask Him to fill the void, to strengthen your heart, to heal the inner divide, and so on. God already knows what’s happening within your adulterous heart, so come before Him in prayer to find healing and help in your temptation (Heb 4:16). If we ask anything according to God’s will, he hears us and will help us (1 John 5:14). Often we experience ambivalence and temptation because we do not know what we really need or even want. “Disordered loves” arise when we set the heart’s affections on the transitory, the ephemeral, and the unabiding — rather than on the Eternal.

Where it is written, “cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you” (1 Pet. 5:7), the word translated “anxiety” (μέριμνα) comes from a Greek verb (μερίζω) that means to be fragmented or divided into parts and pieces. We bring our brokenness to God – including those distractions that tear us away from Him and that make us inwardly fragmented – in order to receive God’s care for us. Today choose to regard your brokenness as an invitation to come before God for healing; never let it be a source of shame that keeps you from coming to the LORD for help! We are not to be ignorant of Satan and his devices… Despite our many sins, frailties, and our own inner ambivalence, we know that God alone is our healer, our deliverer, and the lover of our souls. The Lord is near to those who call upon Him in the truth.

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The goal of the devil, the “prince of the power of the air,” has always been to enslave people in dark places of fear, anger, bitterness, and pain. His primary weapon is deception, that is, various lies by which he captivates people and makes them tools for his evil purposes. We are able to resist the power of the lie by submitting to the truth about Reality (James 4:7). God’s Name YHVH (יהוה) means “Presence” and “Love,” and there is no power in heaven or earth that can overrule His hand. Therefore even if the prophesied “End of Days” were to begin this very hour, our responsibility is to focus on the Divine Presence and to walk in His truth and love. As King David said, “I have set the LORD always before me; because He is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken” (Psalm 16:8).

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It’s an old custom to read (or to sing) the Book of Psalms during the month of Elul. In the famous Song of Moses, it is written: וַיּאמְרוּ לֵאמר אָשִׁירָה לַיהוָה / “and they spoke, saying: ‘I will sing to the LORD’ (Exod. 15:1). This phrase can be formed into an acronym for Elul (אלול), and the sages therefore reasoned that hearing the Psalms were vital during the Season of Repentance and Days of Favor.

Of all the great Psalms, however, Psalm 27 is considered the central one of the season of teshuvah. The midrash on the Psalms states that the word ori (אוֹרִי), “my light,” refers to Rosh Hashanah (based on Psalm 37:6) whereas the word yishi (יִשְׁעִי), “my salvation” (lit. “my Jesus”) refers to the atonement given on Yom Kippur. King David also mentions that God would hide him in his sukkah (בְּסֻכּה) in the time of trouble, referring to the holiday of Sukkot (Psalm 27:5). Therefore since it alludes to all three of the fall holidays, Psalm 27 is regarded as the thematic Psalm for the High Holidays of the Jewish year.

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There is the great danger of squandering and dissipating our lives… Examine yourself; consider what really moves you. Be careful not to deceive yourself by “reasoning around the truth” (i.e., παρα + λογίζομαι), as James the Righteous puts it (James 1:22). Many people fool themselves by assuming they know or understand what is good, but they confine this ideal to a matter of opinion rather than experiencing it as a matter of the will…

According to philosopher Hannah Arendt, the lack of moral thought and reflection creates the “banality of evil,” that is, the unthinking acceptance of evil so that it is no longer regarded as outrageous or strange. People deaden their conscience by refusing to honestly engage questions such as: “What is goodness?” “Is evil real?” “Do we have an obligation to observe moral truth?” “What is the good life?” “How should we live?” “Do our actions really matter?” “Will God judge my life?” and so on. On the other hand, our culture has been so shocked by the ongoing practice of lawlessness and wickedness that people have lost their sense of shame. We are no longer shocked and outraged when we hear of the latest crimes or abuses of power in our postmodern world…. We must be careful, however, not to become evil by despising what is evil. For instance, we may feel so outraged and threatened by the evil actions of others that we deny their humanity, thereby becoming the very thing we hate.

The spiritual danger here is being “pulled apart” in opposite directions, dissipating the soul so that it will not be unified, focused and directed. Both loving and hating the good is a state of painful inner conflict, ambivalence, and self-contradiction. “Who can bring a clean thing out of an unclean? there is not one” (Job 14:4), yet this is our starting point: “I find it to be a law that when I want to do right, evil lies close at hand” (Rom. 7:21). We are often willing and unwilling, or neither willing nor unwilling, and this makes us inwardly divided, weak, fragmented, anxious, and “soulless.” An honest faith that “wills one thing” binds the soul into a unity, or an authentic “self.” As King David said, “One thing have I asked of the LORD, that will I seek after: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to inquire in his temple” (Psalm 27:4).

The way to be healed of a divided heart is to earnestly make a decision: “Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you” (James 4:8). There are no conditions given here — other than your raw need to connect with God for help. “Purify your hearts, you double-minded ones” (δίψυχοι, lit. “two-souled ones”); make up your mind and be unified within your heart: “How long will you go limping between two different opinions?” (1 Kings 18:21). You are invited to come; God has made the way; your place at the table has been set and prepared.

God responds to those who sincerely cry out to him (Psalm 145:18). He is “near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit” (Psalm 34:18). Indeed, salvation is as close as your own mouth and heart (Rom. 10:8-13). But how many are the days of your life? How many opportunities for you to make up your mind? How long will you go “limping” between two opinions? Therefore choose this day whom you will serve. Make the first step; open your heart, and the LORD will then help you make the wholehearted decision to “seek the LORD while He may be found; call upon Him while He is near.” Amen.

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