It is written in our Scriptures: “As a man thinks in his heart, so is he.” We often see what we want to see more than what is really there. That’s called wishful thinking. We overlook much, and we often ignore what might challenge our own preferred interpretations. For example, we may think that we are trusting God for our lives, but we worry, we attempt to control others, we get angry, and so on. We have a blind spot regarding the question whether we really trust God, perhaps because seriously investigating what we really believe seems too threatening (John 16:31-32). After all, what if we don’t really know what to believe? What if we struggle to believe? What if we are confused? What does that say about who we are? So we ignore the real problem (namely, our lack of truth and our little faith in God) and continue to think we are something we are not. We fool ourselves and trade a sense of “satisfaction” at the expense of truth. This is a common failing of human nature. During the Nazi years, many ordinary Germans refused to investigate reports of atrocities at the death camps because it was too costly to discover the truth (the same might be said about any patriotic citizens who rationalize the actions of their government regardless of the moral issues involved). By willfully hiding from the facts, we pretend we are not responsible, and therefore we justify passivity in the face of injustice and evil.
Yeshua warned that the time would come when those who kill others will delude themselves into thinking they are doing God a big favor (John 16:2). Think of how massively self-deceived such a thing is as that — to murder someone as a so-called service to God! Many of the biggest enemies of the truth are often those who think they are doing God such favors.
Hebrew Lesson:
- Psalm 51:6 Hebrew lesson (pdf)
Often, however, the truth “of the inward being” must come at the expense of heartache, for surely the heart must ache, tremble, and despair before it comes to accept the truth about its condition. This sort of truth is “existential,” meaning that it is known only through the process of living life itself. As Kierkegaard said, “There are many people who reach their conclusions about life like schoolboys: they cheat their master by copying the answer out of a book without having worked the sum out for themselves.” Yes, and they cheat themselves, too, since they somehow believe that “knowing the answer” given by another is the same thing as “knowing the answer” of their own inward being… Kierkegaard continues this thought: “The truth is lived before it is understood. It must be fought for, tested, and appropriated. Truth is the way… you must be tried, do battle, and suffer if you are to acquire truth for yourself. It is a sheer illusion to think that in relation to truth there is an abridgment, a short cut that dispenses with the necessity of struggling for it.”
A man who was afflicted with a terrible disease complained to Rabbi Israel that his suffering interfered with his learning and praying. The rabbi put his hand on his shoulder and said, “How do you know, friend, what is more pleasing to God – your studying or your suffering?” (Buber: Hasidim).
Note that the “inward being” (טֻחוֹת) refers to the “kidneys” which were thought to be “the reins” or the concealed (i.e., te’ach: טִיחַ) source of the will within the person. Interestingly, the word te’ach comes from the verb tachah (טָחָה) that means to “shoot with a bow,” alluding to the idea of inner Torah as a directive power. God wants purity of the heart – passion, singleheartedness, and earnestness – as we live and practice the truth. God wants “the inner parts,” the concealed parts of the soul, to be filled with his Torah, and therefore David asks God to make him to know wisdom there – in the “secret heart” – so that he might apprehend God’s truth and do teshuvah that purifies the heart.