How we choose to deal with trouble and suffering (i.e., tzuris) makes all the difference. We may be tempted to bitterness over our lives, but then what? To paraphrase Soren Kierkegaard, the way of life is “how” more than it is “what.” You may be powerless to control reality, but you are nevertheless responsible for how you respond to it. Check your attitude. Do you chose to live in lament over a healing that has not yet happened, or perhaps regard yourself as a hapless victim? Or will you attempt to justify your suffering as a means of personal atonement, accepting it passively as a “good child” or martyr? Does your suffering stretch your heart, or does it cause you to shrink back in fear or self-pity?
In this connection, recall that when the Jews came to Marah, they “could not drink the water because it was bitter” (Exod. 15:23). The Hebrew, however, could be read, “they could not drink the water because they (i.e., the people) were bitter (כִּי מָרִים הֵם). The problem is often not “out there” but within the heart (Matt. 15:19-20). How we choose to see, in other words, says more about us than it does the external world. If you make the mistake of reading the daily news and taking it seriously, you will see only ugliness, and you run the risk of becoming hardhearted. Worldly despair eclipses apprehension of the Presence of God….
We have to use ayin tovah, “a good eye,” whenever we encounter the inevitable (and ubiquitous) adversities of life. Instead of seeing ourselves as victims of undeserved trouble, and instead of harboring resentment over the past and entertaining fear of the future, we must learn to see adversity in the light of faith that teaches lessons about finding resilience and hope. Faith affirms that adversity has an end that is ultimately good. Faith will not bow the knee to dark visions and live in dread of worldly fate.
It’s been said, “hurt people hurt people,” which means that if healing is not found for our woundedness, our pain will likely “leak out” as depression and hostility toward others… Finding inner peace is therefore crucial lest we become poisoned through a “root of bitterness” that defiles many (Heb. 12:15). The worst sort of prison is the one we make for ourselves, by choosing to be taken captive by fear and anger. May the Lord show us mercy and help us grow in grace and in the knowledge of his heart in all things. Amen.
