The Apostle Paul said we were to both “test ourselves” with regard to the intellectual content of our faith and also to “prove ourselves” with regard to the veracity of our spiritual life: “Put yourselves to the test (ἑαυτοὺς πειράζετε) to see if you are in the faith; prove yourselves (ἑαυτοὺς δοκιμάζετε) to see whether Yeshua the Messiah lives within you – lest you fail the test and be disapproved (ἀδόκιμος)” (1 Cor. 13:5). Notice that the verb “to prove” (i.e., dokimadzo: δοκιμάζω) means to test something by fire (like a precious metal) to discover its quality and purity. The analogy here is straightforward. The quality of our faith will be revealed during times of testing and hard circumstance. Do we walk in love, joy, and peace – despite the testing of this life? If our faith regularly fails in the crucible of testing, we may need to reexamine its authenticity (Prov. 24:10).
A proven faith is one that evidences the Fruit of the Holy Spirit, though other characteristics include an abhorrence for personal sin and the desire to obtain God’s forgiveness; a hunger and thirst for God’s righteousness to be manifest; a sincere willingness to obey the LORD and keep His commandments, and a heartfelt love for God and others. These characteristics mark genuine teshuvah (“repentance”), that is, a turning away from inner darkness to the light of the Divine Presence. Teshuvah is a miracle that transforms the person so that the inner life is restructured and made into a new creation by means of God’s grace (2 Cor. 5:17). Spiritual rebirth implies a new heart with a new set of affections: “I am crucified with Messiah; it is no longer I who live, but Messiah who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me” (Gal. 2:20).
The Jewish view of truth is inherently existential – how you live reveals what you believe, and vice-versa. The truth must be lived in order to be real. We are to be “doers” of the Word, and not hearers only, since faith without works is dead and leads to self-deception (lit., “reasoning around” the truth, i.e., παραλογίζομαι, from παρά, “around, beside” and λογίζομαι, “to reason”). Only those who follow through and live out their faith will be blessed in their actions (James 1:22, 25). This mirrors Yeshua’s statement, “If you know these things, blessed are you if you do them” (John 13:17).
Reb Lev said, ‘A tzaddik is one who lives Torah, not one who preaches it. Your actions, not your words! You have to be Torah: your habits, your motions, even your silences – are what count…”
There remains the frightening possibility that the soul – even the soul that professes faith in the Messiah – may fail the test of genuine faith and be rejected (i.e., adokimos: ἀδόκιμος, “tested and found useless”). A person who merely professes love for God with his lips but whose heart is far from Him will eventually hear the verdict of truth, which ratifies the inner life of the soul: “Depart from Me, I never knew you…” This is the like-for-like principle of faith, the reciprocity of the inner life of the soul. Our faith in Messiah must be unalloyed – pure, without compromise in its composition and character. May God help each of us…
Should we live in fear of ourselves? After all, “the heart is deceptive above all things and desperately wicked” (Jer. 17:9), and it is woefully easy to fool ourselves regarding our sins (1 Cor. 8:2; Gal. 6:3; James 1:26). Well on the one hand we should indeed be afraid of our own sinful tendencies and abhor the sin in our lives, but on the other we must practice hope in God and trust in his healing and deliverance. Moreover, we can experience freedom from dread by receiving the joy that comes from the assurance that we are accepted in the Beloved. God has not given us a spirit of slavery to fall back into fear; and there is no fear in His love (Rom. 8:15; 2 Tim. 1:7; 1 John 4:18). Of course we all will fail the test apart from the grace and love of God, and no one can be approved by means of the unaided will. We all need a miracle from God to love Him in the truth and to pass the test — but God is the One who performs miracles for us. The LORD is Adonai Nissi (יהוה נִסִּי), the God of my miracle…
There is a price to be paid for the miracle of God being manifest in our lives. The message of the cross means confessing the truth about who we are and how we have failed the test of faith. Yeshua does not appeal to the self-righteous ones to come for healing, but rather to the sin-sick and weary (Mark 2:17). The LORD wants us to be honest with ourselves, as it says: “”Behold, You delight in truth in the inward being, and you teach me wisdom in the secret heart” (Psalm 51:6).
The Tenth Commandment says, “do not covet” anything that belongs to your neighbor (Deut. 5:21), though the Hebrew does not simply say “do not desire” (i.e., לא תְאַוֶּה) but rather “do not bring yourself into a state of desire” (i.e., לא תִתְאַוֶּה), the verb in this case (אָוַה) being “hitpael” (reflexive), that is, expressing the relationship within yourself to the truth of God. As Soren Kierkegaard once said, the “self” expresses a relation with itself, and the “how” of that relation determines what sort of self we are… God does not command us like someone might train a dog; he instructs us to awaken to what we are doing, to take responsibility for our lives, and not to yield our hearts to envy, despair, and sorrow.
The unexamined life — especially as a follower of Yeshua — is not worth living, and the practice of suppressing the truth about our sinful condition can lead to self-deception and even death (1 Cor. 11:30). “If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us; if we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:7-8). “Therefore, confess (ἐξομολογέω, lit. ‘confess out’) your sins to one another and pray (εὔχομαι) for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person (tzaddik) works great power” (James 5:16).