Shalom friends. Soren Kierkegaard understood the “self” – that is, what is most essential to what you really are – to be a “dialectical relationship” you have with your own inner life, namely, with your thoughts, your feelings, and so on. He famously said: “The self is a relation which relates to itself, or that in the relation which is its relating to itself. The self is not the relation but the relation’s relating to itself” (Sickness unto Death). This might seem like a nonsense statement, but what Kierkegaard meant was that you are always having a conversation with yourself, and there – in that dialog or “dialectic” – you are always deciding what matters most to you, what you really want, what you choose to believe, and so on. As strange as it may sound, “you” are always in relationship with yourself – both as speaker and hearer, and you are also the one who reasons and makes judgments about what to do in the midst of the ongoing conversation… Now what is most significant about this inner discourse, this “court of decision,” is both the reasons for or against something, as well as the moral competence and authority of the judge. How could the “divided self” be unified, after all, if it made decisions that were not based on reality and truth?

Of course much of the time we are not conscious of what we are thinking, but we act from impulse acquired through unreflective habit and the passive acquiescence of worldly “assumptions” made about the meaning of things. This is the mode of the “mass mind” that has gone asleep and no longer bothers to ask searching questions about what is real… However, since whatever is thought is indeed based on assumptions, it is important to discern what those assumptions are and to question their veracity.

For example, you might “find yourself” feeling upset over the political affairs of the world, anxious about the future, and so on. “The world is falling apart,” you might say, or “everything is coming undone!” It is wise, in this case, to discover the assumptions being employed that give reasons for your fear. What “argument” is being made within yourself that leads you to conclude that fear (or outrage or despair) is the appropriate response? What “axioms” or premises are at work in your thinking? Perhaps you assume that “God takes care of those who take care of themselves” and therefore you must “take control,” you must fight against evil, and that you are responsible (somehow) for the state of the world, and so on.

If you take time to honestly examine your reasons for believing that your fear (or anger, or despair) is justified, you will eventually encounter foundational assumptions that are paradoxical and contradictory, such as notions that you are (both) responsible for everything yet nothing is within your control, or that you are (both) “free” yet determined by necessity, that God is (both) distant and yet very near, and so on. And this is where things get interesting and vitally important: in the midst of these tensions, in the midst of the “dialog” you have with such ultimate questions, in the midst of such ambiguity, you (both) must make a practical decision and yet you are unable to do so. Though you “hear” the arguments pro and con within your heart, you are simply unqualified to make a decision about what you should do: you are “double minded, unstable in all your ways.”

It is not hopeless, however, because you were never meant to be the judge and moral authority of your life, since that role belongs to God alone who is the Sovereign LORD over all reality, and the only one who truly defines what is “good” and what is “evil.” The original sin, after all, was the usurpation of God’s authority over our lives. When Adam ate from the Tree of the knowledge of good *and* evil, he sat himself upon the throne of the heart as the god of his own life. The dreadful fall…

Healing comes through teshuvah, or returning to God as the true Authority of our lives. In the midst of the inner dialog of the self, your ego or “false judge” must abdicate the throne before the LORD, sincerely submitting to God’s wisdom and truth. Doing so presents another “Voice” to the inner conversation of your self, namely the Voice of God’s presence, power, and authority as the true Judge and Lord of our lives. This is the deeper meaning of “Shema,” that is, to listen to God, to submit to his terms of reality, and to engage this within the deepest recesses of the self. Doing so yields “shalom” because you rest in God’s wisdom and care for your life, instead of anxiously debating about what to do in the midst of the ambiguity and confusion of this world. Let’s face it, you make for a poor god…

When you are tempted to despair, friend, when you seek to lose yourself in distractions of rage or fear, turn to God and ground yourself in what is real. Pray. Ask for divine wisdom; ask for truth in the midst of your inner conflict and uncertainty (Heb. 4:16). Then listen. Open your heart and ready yourself to hear the “still small voice” that will guide you. Doing so will purify your heart and transform your mind. “Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable to You, O LORD, my Strength and my Redeemer” (Psalm 19:14).

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Hebrew Lesson
Psalm 19:14 Hebrew reading and commentary:

 

• Psalm 19:14 Hebrew card (pdf)

When the disciples asked Yeshua how they should pray, he began with the words: “Our Heavenly Father, sacred is your name; may your kingdom come, may your will be done…” (Matt. 6:9-10).  You might overlook it, but these words imply that God’s kingdom is not naturally within us, and indeed, as Yeshua taught elsewhere, what is “naturally” within the heart is just the opposite: “For from within, out of the heart of a person, come evil reasonings (οἱ διαλογισμοὶ οἱ κακοι), adulteries, fornications, murders, thefts, covetousness, wickedness, deceit, lewdness, an evil eye, blasphemy, pride, foolishness. All these evil things come from within and defile a person” (Mark 7:21-23). So when Yeshua told the Pharisees that the kingdom of God is “within you,” he meant that the kingdom is a matter of a heart that has been reborn by the Spirit – not that people are naturally endowed with a divine “spark” (ניצוץ) within them. No, the default condition of the unregenerated heart is one of selfish autonomy that refuses to submit to God’s right to reign. Its creed is: “I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul” (Henley). The natural man is a rebel against God; a usurper of the prerogatives of God, and therefore he “eats from the apple” to define “good” and “evil” in his own self-serving terms….

The “default” condition of the soul is one of “spiritual death,” an appearance of life that is actually “cut off” or alienated from the truth of God, and is therefore devoid of eternal life. As Yeshua told Nicodemus, “unless a person is born again (i.e., γεννηθῇ ἄνωθεν, “born from above”), they cannot see the kingdom of God” (John 3:3). The spiritual seed of the kingdom must be planted within the heart by the Spirit of God. “That which is born of the flesh is flesh, and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit. Do not marvel that I said to you, ‘You must be born again.’ The wind blows where it wishes, and you hear the sound of it, but cannot tell where it comes from and where it goes. So is everyone who is born of the Spirit” (John 3:6-8).

The miracle of new life comes through a supernatural conception, “from above” (ἄνωθεν), which means that we are entirely powerless in our natural state to impart life to ourselves. And that, of course, is the essential problem of human nature — that despite our natural desire to be “godlike,” we are monstrous in our estate, and therefore what we most need is “deliverance from ourselves,” that is, salvation from the horrors of selfish existence.

Read more “The Hidden Kingdom…”

It is remarkable that the traditional morning blessing recited at synagogues around the world begins with words attributed to Balaam, the enigmatic and self-styled prophet: Mah Tovu: “How lovely are your tents, O Jacob; your dwelling places, O Israel!” (Num. 24:5). The sages say that the word “tent” (אהֶל) refers to the inner life – how we really feel inside – whereas the word “dwelling” (מִשְׁכָּן) refers to the outer life – our place or circumstances. Together, the inner and the outer mark the quality of our lives, but the inner is the starting point, since we must first learn to live in peace with ourselves. This is vital: we must first tolerate our shortcomings and practice compassion toward our frail humanity… This is sometimes called shalom ba’bayit, “peace in the home” (of the self). Such inner peace is the greatest of blessings, since without it we will cling to pain, fear, and anger, thereby making us unable to find our place at the table in God’s kingdom of love.

 

Hebrew Lesson:

 

• Num. 24:5 Hebrew page (pdf)

 

Torah portion Shelach-Lekha is a “heavy one” since it reports the “Sin of the Spies” (i.e., chet ha’meraglim: חטא המרגלים) and the subsequent failure of the people to trust that the Lord would take care for them. The people’s lack of bittachon (trust) in God is the most serious sin recorded in all the Torah, even more serious than the sin of the Golden Calf (i.e., chet ha’egel: חטא העגל). This is confirmed by the testimony of the New Testament, which presents the fate of the Exodus generation as the dire warning of apostasy for those who claim to follow the Messiah (see Heb. 3:7-4:2).

Trust, then, is the central issue, though in order to trust God, you must believe that you are valuable to Him and that He genuinely desires relationship with you… God redeemed you so you could know and love Him (Isa. 43:1). In this connection it is important to notice that the spies said, “we were in our eyes like grasshoppers” (Num. 13:33). They felt small because they had forgotten the reason for their redemption – they had forgotten how much they meant to God! Their lack of self-respect made them feel unworthy of the inheritance. The sin of the spies was not simply that they doubted they could overcome the “giants in the land,” but rather that they were worthy people in God’s eyes… Sadly the spies view of themselves was more real to them than God’s view of them, and that is why they added, “and so we were (like grasshoppers) in their eyes.” From a spiritual point of view, this was profoundly tragic…

Read more “Small in our Eyes…”