The sages talk about the “voice of Jacob” (קוֹל יַעֲקב) and the “hands of Esau” (יְדֵי עֵשָׂו; see Gen. 27:22). Both sons were counterparts of one another, though each needed the qualities of the other to be complete. Esau needed to learn the ways of Jacob – to love Torah, to respect the call of the family to be God’s agents in the world, to value the things of heaven, and so on, whereas Jacob needed to learn the ways of Esau – to be a man of action, to work with his hands, to deal with the rough-and-tumble world at large. After Jacob fled to Charan to escape the clutches of his aggrieved brother, he learned to be a shepherd, a husband, and a father. In this way Jacob also learned the value of the blessing given to Esau, although this too was discovered needlessly late in his life.
It is quite clear that the families of the patriarchs had serious struggles and were often quite “dysfunctional.” If we idealize these people, however, we tend to forget their humanity, and they may appear disconnected from us – on a much higher spiritual level. The story of Isaac’s troubled family is ultimately one of hope for us all. Isaac was deeply wounded but ultimately found healing, just as his son Jacob later wrestled through his family issues to be renamed “Israel.” Take heart, chaverim: God can use us for His kingdom purposes despite whatever wounds and troubles might be in our family backgrounds. The Spirit speaks: “I AM the LORD your healer” (אֲנִי יְהוָה רפְאֶךָ).
For more on this topic see, “Isaac’s Troubled Family: Further thoughts on Toldot.”