“Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. I have not come to call the righteous but sinners to repentance” (Luke 5:31-32). Every one of us has a “dark side” or a “shadow self” that has destructive and selfish urges. We try to conceal this truth from others (and even ourselves) but such denial doesn’t change the reality within our hearts (Matt. 5:19; Jer. 17:9; Eccl. 9:3). Indeed, when we pretend to be something we are not we are more likely to be overwhelmed by dark forces hidden within us. Paradoxically we most vulnerable when we think we are well, that is, when we deny our sickness our heart and minimize our need for deliverance.
The way of healing is to “own” or confess the truth of our inner condition and to acknowledge the dark passions that sometimes overmaster our best intentions. We must give ourselves permission to allow the hurt, angry, and fearful voices to be heard and sanctioned within us – and then to bring these dark and hidden aspects of our selves before God for healing. The failure to do so will split the soul and cause the hidden aspects of the self to seek “revenge” upon the “parent self” that censors their message. The struggle within our hearts is real and we should attend to it seriously. Denying evil by pretending that we are okay, or by blaming others, blinds us to the truth of our ongoing need for deliverance. May God help each of us to be honest with ourselves and to confess our great need before our Heavenly Father.
Why do we have such difficulty being genuinely honest with ourselves? Despite the fact that we may profess that we are “sinners saved by grace,” we often make excuses for our failures, rationalizing that we are not “that bad,” and therefore we postpone genuine teshuvah (repentance) and trifle with our spiritual lives. We do this because we feel an almost irresistible need to justify ourselves, to “save face” by pretending that we are not “incurably sick,” or by attempting to find something about us that makes feel valuable and worthy. As H.L. Mencken once wittingly noted, “the ‘truth’ that survives is simply the lie that is pleasantest to believe.”
The LORD wants us to be truthful in the “inward being” (Psalm 51:6), though that truth will cost us something, namely whatever worldly gains we might find through self-deception… Opening our hearts to divine examination eventually means colliding with the world of men and their conspiracies, since the godly man no longer abides their presence (Psalm 1:1-2). The Apostle Paul said there was an exclusive disjunction between seeking the approval of men and of the approval of God: “Do I seek to please men? for if I yet pleased men, I should not be the servant of the Messiah (Gal. 1:10). Likewise we are told not to deceive ourselves (lit., “reason around” the truth, from παραλογίζομαι, from παρά, “around, beside” and λογίζομαι, “to reason”) by merely hearing the truth of Scripture and not living it (James 1:22). God is not interested in “lip service” any more than he desires heartless sacrifice (Isa. 29:13; Hos. 6:6; Matt. 15:9). “Let your love be genuine (ἀνυπόκριτος, without a “mask” put on), abhor what is evil; cling to what is good (Rom. 12:9). God abhors those who pretend to know Him but who are really spiritual impostors (Matt. 7:21-23; 25:11-12; Luke 6:46).
Tragically (and paradoxically) many people can talk themselves into believing something without really believing it, and that is perhaps the most dangerous thing of all (Matt. 7:22-23). On the other hand, some people can talk themselves into believing (or accepting) something that they know is untrue (or morally wrong), and that self-deception leads to inner fragmentation, chaos, and dissolution of character. A “double-minded man is unstable in all his ways” (James 1:8). The word translated “double-minded” is dipsuchos (δίψυχος), a word formed from δίς, “twice” and ψυχή, “soul.” The word describes the spiritual condition of having “two souls” that both want different things at once — a state of inner contradiction and ambivalence.
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Thank the LORD our God that there is real healing for our inner dividedness, ambivalence, and double-mindedness, but that healing demands rigorous honesty. As Kierkegaard rightly observed: “No person is saved except by grace; but there is one sin that makes grace impossible, and that is dishonesty; and there is one thing God must forever and unconditionally require, and that is honesty.” Therefore we are instructed to confess our faults one to another, and pray for one another, that we may be healed (James 5:16). May the LORD our God help each of us to be wholehearted in our devotion to Him. Amen.
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