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From our Torah this week (i.e., Nitzavim) we read, "perhaps there is among you a root that bears poison and bitterness" (Deut. 29:18). The Kotzker rebbe commented here that much bitterness comes precisely from this "perhaps" (פֶּן־יֵשׁ). When you stand back from the word of Torah and question whether it is something you should heed, you are halfhearted and ambivalent, and this may lead to bitterness regarding serving God. On the other hand, when Israel was asked whether they would accept the Torah, they replied "na'aseh v'nishmah," we will do and (then) we will understand, recognizing that an act of will is central for understanding (Exod. 24:7). Carnal human nature wants to know the reason for obedience - the pragmatic payoff, if you will - but that is not the way of faith. It is written: הַנִּסְתָּרת לַיהוָה אֱלהֵינוּ - "the hidden things are for the LORD our God" (Deut. 29:29), meaning such are not disclosed by reasoning but are revealed to the heart. God sees in secret and knows the inner workings of our affections (Prov. 17:3; Psalm 66:10, etc.).
אֲנִי יְהוָה חקֵר לֵב בּחֵן כְּלָיוֹת
וְלָתֵת לְאִישׁ כִּדְרָכָיו כִּפְרִי מַעֲלָלָיו
a·nee · Adonai · choh·keir · leiv · boh·chen · ke·lah·yoht
ve·lah·teit · le·eesh · keed·rah·khav · keef·ree · ma·a·lah·lav
"I the LORD search the heart and test the mind,
to give every man as to his ways, as to the fruit of his deeds."
(Jer. 17:10)
Do any of you struggle with bitterness and chronic grief from being hurt in life? It is hard to forgive when we have been betrayed or seriously wounded by others... Perhaps you were abandoned as a child or suffered terrible betrayal from a friend or a spouse. How do we get past the heartache? How can we move past the pain? There are no easy answers, and deliverance from evil comes at different stages for different people, but bitterness is essentially rooted in unforgiveness, and harboring it means losing sight of how much God loves you -- despite your own betrayals and sins against others. Refusing to forgive enslaves you resentment, pain, and despair. Forgiveness is not optional for a follower of Messiah: Your forgiveness of others is your own forgiveness (Matt. 6:15). Give up your demands for justice (Elohim) and appeal to God as Savior (YHVH). Instead of focusing on what harm others have done to you, examine your own heart, confess your own hardheartedness, and learn to be thankful for the grace you hope to partake in Yeshua. "Forgive one another, as God in Messiah forgave you" (Eph. 4:32); "for while we were still his enemies, he died for us" (Rom. 5:8). The devil offers you the cup of wormwood -- a cup of bitterness -- as he tempts you to be offended over all manner of things (both real and imagined). Repudiate his dark appeal. Turn to hope. Ask God for the mercy of a new heart that can let go of the terrible burden of bitterness and that can experience the blessing of shalom. Amen.
הִנֵּה לְשָׁלוֹם מַר־לִי מָר
וְאַתָּה חָשַׁקְתָּ נַפְשִׁי מִשַּׁחַת בְּלִי
כִּי הִשְׁלַכְתָּ אַחֲרֵי גֵוְךָ כָּל־חֲטָאָי
hee·nei · le·sha·lom · mar-lee · mar
ve·a·tah · cha·shak'·ta · naf·shee · mee·sha'·chat · be·lee
kee · heesh·lakh'·ta · a·cha·rei · gev·kha · kol-cha·ta·ai
"Behold, it was for my healing that I had great bitterness;
but You in love have delivered my life from the pit of destruction,
for you have cast all my sins behind your back."
(Isa. 38:17)
Note that in this verse the term "pit of destruction" (מִשַּׁחַת בְּלִי) might better be understood as the "pit of wearing out," that is, the pit of nothingness, consumption, vanity, or worthlessness (i.e., belial: בְּלִיַּעַל). The idea is that the LORD loves us "from the pit of nothingness." The word "loved" used here (i.e., chashak: חָשַׁק) means to be attached in devotion or affection, to embrace in kindness... God's great love is like that – it descends into the pit of shame and draws us out from it, just as Yeshua went down to the pit for that purpose – to deliver those trapped in throes of death (Psalm 88:4-6; Zech. 9:11, 12; Heb. 13:20, 2 Cor. 5:12, etc.).
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